/bert/ - ciclismo

first for ride an S-Works, Bert

 >>/112547/
> 力
lmao, weeb!

doping

kino music in PORTUGAL

> he doesn't own multiple bikes
Just one TT bike though, I am buying a new cockpit for it thoughever

dopage

 >>/112624/
seeing a lot of ABUS here, surely has to be the most popular helmetbrand

Everybody should have road gravel hardtail. Then depending on where you live you can get a full sus

Enzo was a DNF merchant back at pignig post, they surely know how to unlock riders at anicolor

 >>/112626/
Why would I have a grabbel bike or MTB, I live in a city

 >>/112624/
didn't Fifa or Uefa ban that shushing celebration? It's bad for the image of cycling

Julius Bert rapide

Another week of evening shifts at the /cyc/ office. Missing out on the great Juliush Reish rivalry.

 >>/112629/
please, this is completely different, he's clearly just kissing the finger he's using to pleasure his gf

 >>/112631/
last week before vacation for me, I'm so drained

> Conn McDunphy

 >>/112628/
No summer house?

Laurent... mp4
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Kwab

 >>/112635/
Not yet. One day. Want to pay off student loans first.

 >>/112627/
the jobbers at WT level are still quite a bit above CT riders

zulius really became a top TT'er huh
nice time

 >>/112636/
this happened to brtek

 >>/112640/
> The pain, so unexpected and undeserved, had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. I realized I didn’t hate the bottom bracket, I hated my life… My summer home, my schnitzels, my Fanta, my Veloteam. 
> Nothing would ever change; nothing new could ever be expected. It had to end, and it did. Now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing.

Cam on Reish, scar sum fokin watts

Big earthquake in colombia
The vuelta might be cancelled

CHUTE

that is going to hurt

> gayme weaker than van der tuuk
thanks for nothing

 >>/112636/
There was a dude in a club I used to ride with that had his bottom bracket sawed through by a cable once

 >>/112646/
Fuxk

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fun goomble incoming berts

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lest we forget

RTP going on ad break when RHEISH approaches meta 1

RHEISH 32 seconds behind

 >>/112652/
age comes for everyone

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 >>/112652/
Is this guy the ultimate Volta legend or what?

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 >>/112654/
there's always some statpadding boomer around

I squeak

 >>/112655/
Is he one of the commentators (the bald one) on RTP?

i do wonder how NYCH would fare on a WT/PRT level, surely he'd be fine for NSN

 >>/112655/
Damn lol

 >>/112658/
you can check in the gran camino this year where he ranks
he could defintely be a domestique

 >>/112654/
It's like the last tenant of the old archetype of never playing outside your neighborhood and never going to the big leagues, like the ol' Nigel Waterfield, Dagenham and Redbridge legend, played in League Two for tree seasons, skored a faking goal against Crystal Palace in FA Cup round of 32 in 1983, his name spoken with fondness, his photos pinned at the local pubs, his children out of wedlock alredy have their own grandchildren.

Very soul. Minus the dopage.

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and BARBOSA

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 >>/112662/
jesus there's one with 96 top 10's and 25 wins

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 >>/112661/
> Minus the dopage.

holy RIM BRAKE TT bike on Tavfer-Ofos team

REISH only 5th
end of an era

 >>/112661/
> 80s football
> minus the dopage
heh

 >>/112663/
Ah yes, Candido Barbosa, now that was a runner. Like a juiced up 2022 Wout van Aert in the Portuguese peloton

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 >>/112643/
Looks fine to me, I'd compare this to a bent derailleur hanger

 >>/112669/
> Another .AVIF

Finally pigged for a multitool, now my large sattlbag makes me almost immune to ride happenings, including a dumoulin which cannot be squeezed back until I get home.
I guess having an extra chain link would make me completely invulnerable but let's wait until there is one (1) siutation when I acktually need it.

Hey I actually have 5 guys in the top 10 GC that's not even that bad. Okay let's watch some of this shit

 >>/112670/
didn't check the file ending heh. Still better than .heic or .dockx

 >>/112671/
Mine is collecting rust in the saddlebag, but I use it from time to time to readjust a bolt.

NYCH NYCH NYCH

Juaristi fucked by puncture

And there goes Juaristi okay I am cursed

 >>/112676/
NOOOOOO

Insane save from BARBAS

Oh I lost someone yesterday, REY, whoever the fuck that is

 >>/112674/
Surely this is what it is going to be like.
Unpacked it, moved around the moving parts, made sure the 8 hex is just cover which hides a 6 hex - it is, threw it into the saddlebag and that is it, it is not seeing the light of day for I don't know how many months.

Antunsh finally alive

Pena is so fucking bad at TT'ing

 >>/112683/
sudaca gonna sudaca

antunsh rapido

Nych disappointing. FUCK

let's go nych bros, good time

 >>/112686/
trust the negative split

 >>/112687/
Slower than Antoonsh. That is NOT good

why did nevesh start after nych?

 >>/112690/
Probably cause Nych and Guerin are from the same team

GUERIN PAS NORMAL

he has never ridden a TT this good

 >>/112691/
mhm probably, but why would that matter
it's not like one can lead out the other without DSQ

 >>/112693/
Could be something to do with team logistics maybe

guerin is a doped donkey, the french are such villains these days

 >>/112692/
This is some fucking BULLSHIT man

I can imagine nych as a lidl bully

Biggest dopeurs right now:
Guerin
Seixas
Barré

nice save in that tramadol corner, I'd have crashed

So doped can't even see the corners

crazy that guerin looks 10x more aero than someone like GALL

Perhaps some betrayal kino is in orde.
But NYCH didn't look yesterday like he was eating into GUERIN's gap once he went.

 >>/112702/
last year nych was 40 seconds faster than guerin
guerin is extremely pas normal right now, and his season wasn't even that good

> ynr Nych coming back from almost 4 minutes down in GC to wins his first Volta
it's not over

 >>/112704/
is that the one where eulalio kept getting ambushed by super strong breakaways

 >>/112705/
yes

 >>/112704/
In the Volta anything can happen, that's true

Anicolor 4 6 7 and 8

 >>/112708/
buy specialized for these results

Have to say, temperatures haven't been quite right for this Volta, too chilly

But I'm glad to say that it should pick up a bit for the rest of the week

> oscar freire's son dead last

 >>/112712/
> oscar freire's son dead
Oh no..!
> last
Phew.

 >>/112713/
> at last
uh oh

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short test post diet error, kinda positive
but holy hell strong winds in these temps is like blowing hair dryer to you're face

i need to tape over me valves too, they started to rattle for some reason

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PAREDES won again

artem schmid to NSN alongside buitrago and van scheetvelt (soon to be announced)

 >>/112717/
> VAN EETVELT, BUITRAGO, HIRT tridente

8 o'clock and sun is barely above the horizon.
Can't wait for autumnposting.

 >>/112715/
for me its day 2 of 2 off the bike might even make it a 3 day recovery BLOCK tomorrow who knows anything's possible

 >>/112719/
2 more days until the sun will vanish

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 >>/112721/
that's when the canyon reps are at their strongest, poort bertacek

 >>/112717/
De Lie gone. Van Eetvelt gone. Lottobros we better hope Widar can be unlocked next season.

 >>/112723/
excuse me, massive reinforcements are on the way
MOLANO
VAN SEVENANT
VENTURINI

there are even dark rumors about SQUILLAUME MARTIN BAYONET

 >>/112724/
Incredbly grim

Did we pay attention for this for NERURKAR:
> Current injuries

> Out with fractured collarbone, fractured sternum, fractured vertebra(e), fractured rib(s), punctured lung (Hit by a driver while training)

 >>/112726/
christ

 >>/112727/
stay safe berts

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buy a vook berts

 >>/112730/
a what now

 >>/112730/
Ik ook vook.

 >>/112724/
They should sign Julius now that he can farm wins in mickey mouse races. As long as he brings the round wheels he got at UAE.

 >>/112731/
never heard about gooks on vooks?

hi there

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upload test

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baseline timing

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timing test

uh oh what is he up to

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mime probe

am I supposed to do anything?
> orson welles confused.png

content test

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svg content

 >>/112742/
bet he's evil

stop testing or you get to test getting banned

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small

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gradient

should have bought that vook, they're here now and they won't be nice

Is this Irishbert?? What is he doing

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Or is it.. AIrishbert

I think it's a script testing what it can get away with dodging the x post filter

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> Week 2 of the le TDFFaZ starts tomorrow

 >>/112753/
women do well in the real ultra-endurance races, I think they can do a full 3 weeks within the next decade or so

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Watching BLOODSPORT (1988)

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 >>/112754/
> men
> 26 (out of 184) non-finishers after 3 weeks
> women
> 32 (out of 147) non-finishers after 1 week

 >>/112756/
>  >men
>  >26 (out of 184) non-finishers after 3 weeks
and 8 after 9 days btw

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from all the SS-interval posting of finnbert, I might've done some by accident today

 >>/112758/
Based early riser

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3 equally grim articles

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 >>/112760/

 >>/112760/
harsh words from Rasmussen

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 >>/112758/
Nice! isn't it fun to go pretty fast?
For me a total of 90min of SST at 340-350W. Legs are feeling super good despite training less and sleeping like shit, hmm. I managed to snag a KOM for the 60km loop that local club cyclists do every week, I suppose that's nice for the ego heh

 >>/112763/
> Isn't it fun to go pretty fast?
its the best, but only doable super early or maybe on the gravel (see  >>/111837/)

even today at 6.30 in the morning there was already an ebiker who was scrolling tiktok or whatever and slowly creeped on my half of the road coming head on

 >>/112764/
Damn, that's such a shame. Here I have like 5 different long stretches of road / loops with 1 or 2 turns where I need to slow down, otherwise free to go as fast as I like with maybe 5 cars an hour tops. If I had an hour more to ride each time I'd have even more such roads. Seems like there's always pros and cons to places, here there's no real flats or hills, only constant rolling terrain, but at least the cagie situation is top notch.

 >>/112765/
> the cagie situation is top notch.

Then you already have it better than 90% of Berts. I don't even ride outside between may and September.  Simply too many tourists cloging the road.

 >>/112766/
> Simply too many tourists cloging the road.
i remember when i was last in slovenia couple years ago with all the "ACHTUNG KOLESARI" signs and millions of ciclists on the main road.
But when I lost the main road, suddenly no cars, no kolesars, only cows (specifically the roads around Poklujka)

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 >>/112766/
That's a real shame, but yeah if there's so many tourists then I guess it's not fun to ride and probably even dangerous. The only real tourist attraction around here is the Finnish Archipelago which is very popular in the summertime for cyclists, motorcyclists, campers, bikepackers etc. It's the only trip around here I don't really like to ride because of the cars and tourists, especially since the road is very narrow in certain parts. Imagine riding here with hundreds of camper cars, slow going bikepackers and motorists.

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Rest day at Volta, only Kolumbie today

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 >>/112768/
Huh wrong image, oh well.

 >>/112766/
I hate everyone on the road these days

Difference between NY and NJ is stark. NY has huge 5 meter wide bike lane, signs that remind drivers to not pass closely and share the road, well maintained, etc

Second you cross into jersey, bike line is replaced with another lane of cars, constant signs to ride single file all the way to the side, and drivers HATE you. Everyone driving 3000kg SUVs passing within a meter

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Reminder

 >>/112773/
ULLE war sauber (moralisch)

 >>/112773/
let it be known that when I get popped for doping I'm ratting on EVERYONE I'm spilling every bean I can hell I will speak everything I know and everything I don't.

 >>/112773/
We love ulle and hate lance, simple as.
I like Landis too because he triggers lance

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This very general is probably more SULPHUROUS than the professional pro peloton in the 1980s
just saying

 >>/112777/
It could be..
it should be

 >>/112777/
theres rarely any dopage control in my races so everyone just stuffs themselves with 1.5-2 grams of painkillers, and 500mg of caffeinepills - god knows what else

 >>/112770/
Avoiding main roads with no wide roadside/shoulder whenever I can.

 >>/112773/
Ulle?
sauber!

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Utterly based

Also funny that one climb for some reason has five categorized climbs

Roglic to lotto lmao

 >>/112784/
Putting my life savings on him winning the tour

 >>/112779/
caffeine and otc non-opioid painkillers are allowed, though

 >>/112784/
Strange

 >>/112782/
> 力
> strength
> 勇
> courage
Did I get that right?

 >>/112756/
yeah, they could do it in a decade, not tomorrow (some could do it tomorrow); but also, with how their race is structured, basically every day after the first two is an intense GC day without any of the easy transfer stages men's GTs have

 >>/112784/
Gilbert 2.0

 >>/112784/
the widar-martin-roglic washed tridente will be fighting for whoever gets to DNF first

Vuelta 2027 is basically free ROGLIC win

> DOPACAR not interested (won in 2026)
> VINGEGAARD not interested
> ALMEIDA washed
> GALL will ride Le Tour in 27
> SEIXAS will ride Le Tour only until retirement
etc etc

 >>/112784/
how hard is it to retire with dignity

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 >>/112793/
> not getting free millions for riding you're bike

 >>/112793/
He could've just done the vuelta last year instead of wasting his time in the tour and the giro. Then retired as the vuelta goat.
Who knows why he did the giro

 >>/112795/
I think he didn't want to if I remember it right. 
It was team orders.

 >>/112796/
Fuck Denk, all for hindlel's 4th place

 >>/112784/
I don't even remember who that is

 >>/112798/
Believe it or not some bert even picked him this season

 >>/112799/
a captain goes down with the ship

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> Im 1320 Meter langen Sandbergtunnel nahe Stadtilm wurde am Samstag (8. August) ein brennender Zug simuliert. Rund 100 Komparsen spielten verletzte Fahrgäste, mehr als 250 Einsatzkräfte sollten die Rettung übernehmen. Doch die ersten Kräfte erreichten den Tunnel erst nach zwei Stunden und sieben Minuten – deutlich später als vorgesehen.
autismbert would long be turned into ashes

 >>/112801/
So basically if there's a trein fire, you're cooked. And the EMTs will be there in two hours.

 >>/112801/
at that point, just send chimney sweepers ffs

 >>/112802/
even in car tunnels you're fucked unless you completely lock in

 >>/112804/
What do you mean, "lock in", like in the zoomer sense?

 >>/112805/
Yes you have to pay attention

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Bolle Bert is now riding for Picnic. Reality can be stranger than fiction

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 >>/112805/
lock the fuck in unc or you'll suffocate

 >>/112805/
calm down unc, you're never getting out anyway

 >>/112801/
Hello, I am here now!

 >>/112807/
You're not even being funi.

kurwabert, is that recipe accurate for authentic polish kielbasa soup?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=2ASWRiP1zwE

https://www.procyclingstats.com/rider/emilien-jacquelin

theyre putting this bi athlete in the worldtour team for a few races, fraudulence to follow

 >>/112813/
the pantani fanboy

 >>/112784/
This was the last team I had expected him to go to. Roglic + Widar alliance will be magical.

Looks about rite, only celery root instead of celery stem, we're not in Italy, almost no traditional recipes will use the stems.

Also
> did you know
this chef's name is Mitzewich quit watching his stuff years ago after some extremely shitlib spergouts about trump, and then checked his Early life which is now scraped from wiki.

And add some marjoram, don't why we put it everywhere. Like Czesi and their stupid kminek.

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 >>/112816/
thanks for the warning, no need for any kosher recipes in me household thats FOR SURE

Can we tone it down with the antisemitism, Ameriberts have to feel safe as well

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make me

anyways ciclismo, who are the favourites for the femmes WC? will demi go?

 >>/112807/
bert bolle would be picnic's 8th best rider in UCI points from riding a 2.1 and some 2.2's

 >>/112821/
demi will easily win if she doesn't ride retarded (50% chance)

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we live in Colombia
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ao_v95ZQR4A

 >>/112824/
Surprised they didn't cancel it.

 >>/112821/
 >>/112823/
demi's biggest opponents for the win are her own teammates not riding for her, maybe prevot will attempt levels of dopage unseen before

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 >>/112825/
a minute of silence for the victims suffices

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hello UCI? a Dutch rider was DSQd for less

 >>/112829/
cannot wait until Van Schip turns up with D-cup implants for more aerosnobbery

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chute

 >>/112827/
prevot would need to gain a couple kg in the next month

a friend of mine is getting into cycling and I was riding with him earlier and he had an old bike with the triple front chainring
had to think of our boy bertacek

the ultracycling WC is starting today, with a 2200km 30.000vm route
livestream  of one of the favourites starting in 1h: https://youtube.com/watch?v=YIulx8yNvpw

BIG STUFF in Colombia

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PAREDES wins by 5 bike lengths

 >>/112836/
some call him the new MAL

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how does this even happen?

(it's not mine btw)

 >>/112834/
This video poped up on my yt again. 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3dOuGctRx4g
For your next trip in Nice

 >>/112838/
I mean look at the state of the chain

 >>/112840/
Honestly ever since I started overvaxxing and properly cleaning AFTER vaxxing, the state of my chain is much much better than it used to be

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 >>/112839/
kek forgot he rode this during heatwave. That's what we call a non-heatlet

Champoussin to INEOS. What the fuck are they doing?

 >>/112843/
mandatory french transfers for totalenergies

 >>/112843/
Was a solid pick in warmup races, good lad with good punch

 >>/112844/
Isn't laurance, GODon and vauquelin enough?

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That's a very long list of overpaid riders jesus

 >>/112838/
You must be cursed.

 >>/112847/
schmid to nsn
turner to quick step
foss to uno x
de plus to decathlon
andrew to q36.5

 >>/112843/
BIG things are happening over at Netcompany TotalEnergies

Is it I or is this transfer season real wacky. Like a LOT of movement and a lot of it demands a
> puzzledfrog.jpg

 >>/112851/
best part is that none of it will matter at all as the same 3-4 people will win everything

 >>/112851/
nobody good is moving, it's all jobber chair dance 
Only Gall wasting the rest of his career at lidl

 >>/112852/
 >>/112853/
Yeah, I know the 1 tier musical chairs are all locked up, but the jobber movement - nobody knows what it means, it gets the people going - seems off the rails.

 >>/112838/
Fake Shimano chain?

 >>/112854/
lots of ancient teams dying, lots of upcoming teams with more money than sense (q36.5)

 >>/112853/
Even among sprinters and classisc riders, almost no one is moving. Biggest transfer of the season might end up being Meeus or something.

Next year should be much more interesting, especially if there are teams scrambling for points.

 >>/112857/
meeus also going to lidl to play second fiddle
lame transfer

 >>/112842/
> avg 40
wtf, but would LOVE to gravel around in the french countryside

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new war has started

 >>/112860/
I think both are correct because we've seen tires launch off hooked (real hook) rims as well

 >>/112861/
but what is the purpose of the non hooked wheel though
why is it's existence justified

 >>/112862/
well the tire is lightbulb shaped because the internal rim width is wider and closer to the external rim width
realistically its just makes the rim production cheaper because you need less molds so more €$ for the swines

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Didn't cadex just release a tire that is quite literally unsafe to ride while cornering? Their expertise on tires seems questionable to me

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 >>/112863/
> the tire is less lightbulb shaped without a hook

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https://youtube.com/watch?v=IqCdINcVMUk 
> points maxxing with polka puck

CARAPAZ rumored to ride the VUELTA

 >>/112867/
he's gonna eviscerate the dopeur

 >>/112867/
does he enjoy losing stages to pogacar

 >>/112869/
2 stage + kom + 1.5k UCI points sounds like a good deal, even if you have to get kwabbeb by pog a couple of times

 >>/112866/
> finishes 63rd up the Ventoux
> gets awarded best climber

 >>/112871/
yes well the polkadots are a somewhat fraudulent jersey as we all know

 >>/112864/
Yes, the rolling resistance website just put a giant warning "don't ride" on their test

 >>/112871/
nobody actually went for the jersey so she kinda went with it once she picked it up

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How do you fix the KOM jersey anyway?
I think cat 4/3/2 should work the same but for 1/horse, you should actively lose points if you don't participate

 >>/112875/
Longer stages with more cat 1's and HC loaded at the front

 >>/112875/
250 km of itt in the tour so the gc contender moves away from 7 w/kg ftp climbers to 6.2 w/kg ftp musclemaxxed allrounders (this is wishful thinking)

And if you want cult hero climbers back you really would need to have smaller teams because let's be real, like carapaz has shown you need to like 2 riders or more dedicated to riding for you in the break to even get 3 minutes

> Alejandro Valverde: “Tadej Pogacar no es invencible, yo casi le gané el año de mi retirada con 42 años” Vingegaard ha confesado que ve imposible ganar ahora a Pogacar, pero Valverde cree que sí él casi lo logró, el danés no se tiene que dar por vencido
< Alejandro Valverde: “Tadej Pogacar is not invincible, I almost won the year of my retirement with 42 years” Vingegaard has confessed that he sees it impossible to win now to Pogacar, but Valverde believes that if he almost succeeded, the Danish does not have to give up
boomers at it again

 >>/112879/
Ridiculous statement

 >>/112875/
make the final climb give half points instead of double if its a mountaintop finish

 >>/112881/
but this leads to even less worthy climbers winning the polkas instead of the best

 >>/112882/
i'm mostly trying to avoid GC winner = automatic polka dot winner which annoys me more

 >>/112875/
Give a bit more points for cat. 3 and 2 climbs and make more medium mountain stages/obvious breakaway stages
That would improve the overall race a lot too

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is bert julius the best looking bert

 >>/112885/
Are you jealous of his hair?
It's just hair.

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Almeida down in the shitter and hjalper category. Grim. Dude was supposed to be a GT winner.

 >>/112887/
> 0 wins
Heh, king of the bottom bunch!

 >>/112886/
its not just the hair ..

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 >>/112885/
i mean the bar is not very high

 >>/112867/
I assumed he would, he's got a decent shot at 2nd and a stage or two; don't see him doing KOM again unless it also breaks that way

I wonder what the velogoombling pricing will ne like for the Vuelta.  Surely Veloman won't let us get but Wout and Mads if you also have Pog.

 >>/112892/
I love Pogi as a rider but he really does irritate me as a velogoombler.

 >>/112893/
You're annoyed?
Imagine poor veloman having to balance that shit.

 >>/112894/
Veloman has to do the harder parts of the job to then be able to enjoy the finer parts, such as setting Buchmann at 8, Uijtdebroeks at 18 etc

 >>/112895/
Heh.
Heavy is the crown.

 >>/112881/
They don't give double anymore iirc

 >>/112892/
Mikel Landa for 6 will save us

axelgaard handing out 2 stars to the local heroes Jezek and Alberto Monti.

 >>/112899/
Vaclav son of Vaclav will be on par with Landa then.
And then there's Joey Blackmore, 3 stars for a guy who DNsomethinged whole two racedays this year.

 >>/112899/
> Fannysmella favorite

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I might join finnberts sleepschedule soonish, the tests are positive a new little dopeur is on the rise

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 >>/112902/
Very positive news!

 >>/112902/
Congrats

 >>/112902/
Congrats!
Name him Bert if it's a boy.

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 >>/112902/

Really weird we still have the canadian races and then a week later they do the exact same race as WC

 >>/112902/
Awesome news, congratulations! Hoping for a good pregnancy for your wife and good vo2max genes for the baby

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Lel why even

Efapelbros, I've just realised  who the Anicolor killer is. He should become available just in time for next year's Volta. Just hang on for one more year, brighter times are SURELY on the horizon.

 >>/112910/
Based ruben guerreiro believer

 >>/112910/
Based Leitão beliver.

> avg 26, max 30
Heatwave coming through. How was your ride berts? Here the usual ups and down on farmers roads.

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 >>/112913/
pic attached. Overall not amazing in term of training, but it's the first summer in a while where I can get good numbers (10h/week) on the bike so won't complain

 >>/112909/
Women doesn't like reality. My gf would never upload a picture anywhere without heavily editing it.

Brenner extends to 2030
Afraid of poachers

 >>/112916/
dude just broke the German world tour curse since chessman won Paris-Nice in 2021.