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Autism Capital @AutismCapital - How could South Park possibly not satirize this? It writes itself. The internet already did half the job lmao
https://x.com/AutismCapital/status/1953697953216180400
The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee - DoorDash Now Offering Pickle Jar Opening Service For Single Women
https://babylonbee.com/news/doordash-now-offering-pickle-jar-opening-service-for-single-women
https://x.com/TheBabylonBee/status/1953473423658623340
Benjamin Netanyahu - בנימין נתניהו @netanyahu - Watch my interview with Fox News
https://x.com/netanyahu/status/1953729180476092570
Benny Johnson @bennyjohnson - This shows how desperate Libs are to find something on JD Vance. This story is incredibly dumb.
Secret Service said they raised the water level without asking @VP, so they could use motor boats in case of an emergency.
You can Kayak in a couple inches of water morons.
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MeidasTouch @MeidasTouch
NEWS: JD Vance had the Army Corps of Engineers raise the water level of an Ohio river so he could improve the kayaking conditions for his birthday outing (The Guardian)
https://x.com/bennyjohnson/status/1953609213172941167
Bill Melugin @BillMelugin_ - NEW: Border Patrol tells @FoxNews records checks reveal criminality for 6 of the 16 illegal aliens they arrested at a Home Depot in Los Angeles yesterday:
- Nicaraguan charged w/ felony theft in LA County in April
- Guatemalan w/ prior LAPD arrest for DUI w/ great bodily injury.
- Guatemalan ICE fugitive with deportation order since 2014.
- Three previously deported Guatemalans, all of whom re-entered the U.S. illegally. (Felony re-entry).
https://x.com/BillMelugin_/status/1953560500903842055
Bishop J. Strickland @BishStrickland - There is still room if you are inspired to join us…
https://x.com/BishStrickland/status/1953626168244007194
Bo Loudon @BoLoudon - BREAKING: First Lady Melania Trump just successfully got Democrat operative James Carville to RETRACT his false claims connecting Melania to Epstein.
Anyone who lies about our beautiful First Lady will be HELD ACCOUNTABLE!
https://x.com/BoLoudon/status/1953492854354911539
Breaking911 @Breaking911 - BREAKING: Israel’s Security Cabinet has approved a plan to take over Gaza City in an escalation of war - AP
https://x.com/Breaking911/status/1953642245816823877
Breaking911 @Breaking911 - MEANWHILE IN CANADA: Pomeranian chases off a bear who strolled into a home in Vancouver
https://x.com/Breaking911/status/1953640561593966907
Breanna Morello @BreannaMorello - Good morning all!!
It’s Friday!!
https://x.com/BreannaMorello/status/1953758833840361976
Breanne Deppisch @breanne_dep - More oustings are also expected at the bureau today and tomorrow, though the number of individuals who could be impacted is unclear.
Today's forced departures have sent shockwaves through rank-and-file FBI, months after many concerns post-J6 questionnaire had abated....
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Breanne Deppisch @breanne_dep
NEW: FBI just ousted multiple senior officials, Fox News has learned, including fmr. acting director Brian Driscoll, special agent Walter Giardina, Steven Jensen, the former acting head of DC field office.
One individual described it as "retribution."
https://www.foxnews.com/politics/fbi-ousts-former-acting-director-agent-involved-j6-prosecutions-more-expected
https://x.com/breanne_dep/status/1953490979127730395
Breanne Deppisch @breanne_dep - Now: U.S. Judge Waverly Crenshaw sets official trial date for Abrego Garcia in Tennessee: January 27, 2026, at 9 a.m.
There's slim chance he'll be here, however, with just 15 days left on the 30-day stay imposed by the same judge last month. A refresher:
https://foxnews.com/politics/lawless-insane-trump-admin-readies-fight-after-judges-block-abrego-garcia-removal-now
https://x.com/breanne_dep/status/1953554943777894895
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